surreal
Didn’t want to write this on my main blog…
It’s always a surreal kind of feeling when someone you know passes away. It doesn’t matter whether or not you happen to be close friends, had a falling out, or were mortal enemies….sometimes when I’m left to my own thoughts, I think that maybe being my friend is a bad thing. I’ve been to more funerals, have had more friends pass away than celebrating milestones we’re “supposed” to be celebrating at 24 — marriage, graduations, acceptance into graduate school….things of that nature. And while we have had a falling out for quite a long time now, it doesn’t make me feel any better that you were a victim of a horrible crime.
I don’t know what to say, and I don’t even know if i have the right to say anything. We haven’t talked in years, haven’t thought about each other in years, haven’t been friends in years. I always wondered what went wrong, how we went from being close friends (I even considered you my best friend at one point), to people who are just strangers. Not even acquaintances. I probably should’ve tried harder, but I was too scared to.
My thoughts are unsure, my heart is weary….but I sincerely, truly, hope you rest in peace, CN.
